House of Cards
by Polly83
Summary: Set during 3x09. Claire finds Alex at the pub after the truth about his fatherhood came out. Will she be able to help him? Will she be able to make him understand that not everything in his life is messed up?


**House of cards**

_- Polly_83 -_

Claire was the first to find Alex after the scene they had witnessed at Killarney between Harry and Liz.

He was sitting on the bench outside the Gungellan pub, with a lot of empty glasses in front of him, and was kissing a girl seated comfortably on his lap.

'_Here we are again'_ Claire thought. She should have known he would have gone to the pub…

"I've looked everywhere for you" Claire stated before he had a chance to even notice she was there. She was relieved to see he was still in one piece and not wrapped around a tree, but she was also a bit disappointed. He was old enough by now to know that getting drunk wasn't going to help… neither was finding a new girlfriend…

The girl, seeing Claire, left Alex' lap muttering: "I should have known…" but Claire didn't even give her a second look.

"Nice work Claire!" said Alex with an undoubtedly drunken voice.

"You all right?" she asked still staring at him. She knew it was quite a stupid question after discovering he was not who he thought he was, but she had to ask anyway. She just had to know.

"Yeah, yeah… I'm fine.," he muttered, while his arm dropped the glasses in front of him. "Just fine…"

Claire sat in front of him, ready to listen to whatever he needed to say, if he was willing to talk. And apparently he was…

"The old man is not my father, my mother is been lying to me, I'm not the father of your kid." He mournfully ranted. "It's bullshit Claire, it's bullshit. None of it's real. Who is Alex Ryan? He isn't anybody, he doesn't exist and never did!"

"That's crazy, of course you do!!"

Alex moved his face closer to Claire's, and she noticed his teary eyes. It was almost unbearable to see him like this. She had never seen him so shattered, not even when talking about Nick's riding accident. But then again, now he had just found he was not who he thought he was… She couldn't even imagine how he could feel right now…

"What bit is real? The baby is not. My father's not."

Slowly he cupped her face with his hands and kissed her. When they parted their lips they kept staring at each other for a couple of seconds, then he continued, with a sad smile on his face: "It's bullshit. All of it."

While a sole tear was running down his cheek he put on his hat and, after a last glance at Claire, full of sadness and pain, he left.

Claire stayed still there, passing her fingers on her lips, lips that had just touched Alex's.

'_What had that kiss meant? Why had he done this?'_ she thought.

Alex had just found out he had grown up in a house of cards, he was upset, it was perfectly understandable, but this fact couldn't change who he was, what he meant to anyone who loved him, whoever his biological father was. At least for her, but maybe Alex was so upset that he didn't know that, maybe he needed to hear it.

Suddenly Claire lifted herself from the seat and felt the urge to find him and tell him what she thought, what she felt.

After a couple of steps she was in the dark. The only light she could see was a cigarette that a boy had in his hand.

Where was Alex? If she were Alex, where would she go?

"Alex!" she called, almost without noticing it. Now she somewhat had the need to find Alex, she had to talk to him.

The boy with the cigarette made a bad joke about her, but Claire completely ignored him, she had something else to focus on. He was lucky; she would have ripped his head off otherwise…

"Alex!" she screamed. _'Where are you, you idiot!'_ she added in her mind. For a second Claire smiled at the thought she had called Alex an idiot just twice, both times when she was very worried about him, after the chopper crash, a few months earlier, and now.

She was considering coming back when a car headlight lightened a figure approaching to the car park. It was barely a moment, but Claire's heart started racing: it was him. Her heart was telling her that, even if her eyes couldn't be so sure. She ran after him, still screaming out his name.

He heard her and stopped until she had reached him. In the meantime the moon started shining from the sky, lighting the night.

"Alex…" started Claire, still wheezing from the run.

He stared at her with gloomy eyes that almost made her heart stop. In that moment she realized she didn't know what to say. Why she had run after him in the first place? But then she remembered his last words.

"It's not bullshit!" she stammered, still slightly breathless. A dart of amazement crossed his glance, but it was just a moment. "It's not bullshit." She repeated. "What happened today doesn't change who you are. You are special Alex, those who know you love you no matter who your father is!"

Alex sadly shook his head. "No Claire, now I'm not anybody! Every thing I had in my life was a consequence of being a Ryan: money, privileges, prestige, and the best schools… Now I'm not a Ryan anymore… nothing makes sense"

"And our business? Your love for horses? They never had anything to do with the fact you were a Ryan!" she cried out, desperately wanting to make him understand it wasn't all bad and dark outside.

"But for our business I used the Ryan money!"

Claire sighed in frustration. It was harder than she thought.

"And me? What about me? You can't ruin your life and think I don't care! I care about you. About YOU, not about 'a member of the Ryan family'! What I feel about you has nothing to do with your surname!"

Alex was stunned by how upset she was. Then he looked up at her and realized that she was definitely right. The woman standing in front of him was the most amazing person he had ever known, and she truly cared about him. What else could he wish for in his life? He was important to HER, that was all that counted.

Alex felt the anger and rancour he had accumulated in the last few hours melting like snow in the sun. He suddenly felt completely empty and weak, like he couldn't stand on his feet anymore.

In that moment Claire's hands grabbed his, and he felt a new strength growing up inside him, a strength nothing and no one could erase. What he felt for Claire was the most real, sincere and pure thing in his life, and it was enough to build a new house, this time made of rock.

Alex pulled Claire towards him and hugged her. Strengthening his grip on her Alex could savour the scent of her hair, the warmth of her body and the touch of her skin. It was the most amazing feeling.

Slowly, without any hurry, their heads pulled slightly away and their lips started looking for each other's. Claire wrapped her arms around Alex's neck, while feelings she had tried to ignore for years were coming to the surface.

"Hey Claire" he cheerfully said when they parted. "It seems like your lips taste of strawberry?!?"

Claire slightly blushed. "Ehm…they were cracked…That's the only thing I found…I think its Jodi's…"

Alex couldn't help but laugh, she was so cute and so easy to tease right now… "I can't believe it! Claire McLeod used a strawberry lipstick!!"

"It wasn't a lipstick!" she defended herself.

"Whatever…it wasn't that bad…"

"It wasn't that bad?!?" she repeated, coming closer again.

"Yup. I'm not quite sure yet. I need another test…" he cheekily smirked.

"Stupid bloke!!" she whispered slapping his shoulder, but leaning ahead just a second later and kissing him again.

Maybe for the first time in his life, Alex felt completely happy, like he was eventually home after a very long journey. And now that he was at home, he knew he would have never left. She was his family, his rock, she meant everything to him, and she would forever.


End file.
